Why Im Glad My Kid Isnt an Honor Student

Why Im Glad My Kid Isnt an Honor Student My son and I werediscussing what electives he should take during his sophomore year of high school when his older sister walked into the room. A college junior, she welches home for spring break we asked if she wanted to weigh in since she had attended the same high school. She welches excited to offer input and listened attentively as her brotherrattledofftheclasses he was considering.Her first reactionto his choices was confusion. I had no idea the school even offered those classes, she said, Sports literatureor global securitiesboth sound interesting.And I never took Business Econ, butI bet itwould be beneficial.I wasnt surprisedmy daughterhadnt taken any of the classes her brothermentioned they are very different students. Both are conscientiousandhard-working, theyhave good attendance,listen to theirteachers,and complete assignments on a timely basis.But my daughter was always an honors student. When she was little, she absolutely loved s chool and came home effusive each afternoon, discussingwhat they learned that day. Getting Asthroughout elementary and middle school was relatively easy for her, and she loved showing us herreport card each quarter.In high school, though, I elendiced a change in her attitude toward school. She became ultra-competitive (with herself, mostly) and got very discouraged when, on rare occasions, she dipped below the high bar she internally strived for in terms of academics. I implored her to relax, go to bed earlier, and take more study breaks. But she insisted I just didnt understand (as Im sure many teens tell their parents), and that she truly needed to study late into the night.Throughout high school, it was common for me to walk past my daughters room in the mornings and find her asleep with her laptop, test notes boldly screaming at her from the bright screen. She wasnt a straight-A student, but she was pretty darn close and on those rare occasions she wasnt, she got distraught. In contrast, my son is far from a straight-A, or even Honors, student.As a freshman in high school, he took all of his classes at the standard, not accelerated,levels. His classes were taught at a speed that worked for him challenging, but not so fast that he felt he could not keep up. He liked some of his core required classes more than others, and he thoroughly enjoyed all of the elective courseshe selected.My son does his homework, and he studies for his exams.The rigor of hiscourse load is less intense than his sisters, so he can complete his assignments within an hour or two and has never studied into the middle of the night. Even when he has an exam, he manages to go to bed at a reasonable hour. His work ethic is not as intense as his sisters but honestly, Im not sure thats a schwimmbad thing. He seems far less stressed outthan she was, and herarely worries that he didnt work hard enough.Teachers tell me my sonparticipatesindiscussions,completes assignments on time, and is a p leasure to have in class. Although not quantitative measures, these comments confirm that he is a successful student. Hisacademic effortsare not lost on his teachers, regardless of his what he scores on an exam.That said, grades are important to my son, even if he is not an honors student.He tries hard andis thrilled when heaces anexam or term paper.AnAmay meaneven moreto him than it did to his sister because it happens less often. If he does get an especially bad grade, hes frustrated, but he doesnt let one incident of less-than-stellar performance define him, his worth, or hiscapabilities. Instead, he focusses onstudyingmore for the next exam orremembering to ask histeacher for helpwith concepts hes struggling to understand.Im not surprisedmy daughter hadnt taken any of the classesher brother mentioned recently I mean, sports literature? Her goal in high school was to choose electives that would boost her GPA and illustrate her academic rigor in a way that top-tier colleges could see. Of course, the down side of this approach was that it resultedin her taking many classesshe wasnt very interested in. My son, on the other hand, is less concerned about courses that look good and instead sees his electives as an opportunity to learn something cool and exciting he chooses subjects he genuinely wants to learn about, regardless of their appearance.Yes, my daughter has higher grades, but my son has maintained an intellectual curiosity and a love of learning thatmy daughter, sadly,lost alongthe way.The older she got, the less she came home excited about discussingabout what she learned. Instead, dinner became a rushed meal where she asked to be excused quickly so she could begin hermounds of homework and test prep.My son, on the other hand, stillenjoys eating dinner as a family andleisurely sharingstories about his subjects, his teachers, and what they talked about in class discussions.My son doesnt get all As, but he retains information well, is insightful, and mak es excellent observations. Nevertheless, some may think that my daughter is the better student. But Iwholeheartedlydisagree.Yes, she is an honor studentand he is not. But both are wonderful students in their own ways. Randi Mazzella--This story originally appeared onSheKnows.